So I Said... | And THEN I Said...
The countdown to the Oregon move continues, and with this more and more is happening in shorter and shorter time periods.
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godlypunk quit smoking last week (AND most of his beer and coffee drinking-- OY!), and made it through to Saturday (whoopsy!) and then quit again Sunday. After a couple of days of driving me completely mad, he entered days 3 & 4 and what I called the "goofy" stage. He's so bored without the stimulation of nicotine that he's acting like a teenager. I spent the weekend laughing at him. (Which is better than screaming at him, I'm sure.) Saturday we went to Deirdre & Preston's (son & daughter-in-law of Savell family) for her birthday party-- gown-up style. And I was glad of the break because in the midst of the chaos, there is little time to rest or have fun. Gerick smoked at the party, and so had to start over again with the quitting thing-- but he did just that without any side effects to his behavior other than extreme sleepiness yesterday.
Sunday -- we were both recovering from partying the night before, relaxing, and selling more furniture! We sold a kitchen counter-table thing with drawers and built-in wine-rack to Kris Kringle and his wife, along with a kitchen display case (or "hutch".) And we gave away a 1980s woven metal table & chairs to them as well. And THEN we dropped both Jazz and Jinx off at our vet's.
Because today, Jazz is getting spayed as well as her first round of shots. And Jinx... OH my gosh... Poor baby!
We needed the vet to check him and confirm something we have long suspected-- that Jinx has a bad heart. Ever since he was about 3 to 4 months old, Jinx pants and his heart RACES whenever he plays at a high level of activity for any real length of time. Cats only pant if they're really hot (like need to cool down fast or get a sunstroke) or if their heart or lungs are bad. He has no respiratory problems, but his heart freaks out too easily. Especially for such a young kitten, this is a bad sign. Cats don't pant unless they are very physically stressed. And yet, just running around a little has him wiped out on the sidelines, panting for minutes at a time. Even when it's cool-- and even when the other cats he plays with (his mother and sister are enthusiastic playmates) show no effects whatsoever.
We understood that if it was bad, we'd have to euthanize him. But we couldn't do it until we were sure. Well.. the vet called and said that, yeah-- it looks like PDA (a deformation of the heart.) He said things would only get worse from here and advised we put him to sleep. And so we will-- but I have to tell you MY heart is breaking right now.
Jinx is a beautiful male cat-- with slicked back mixed long and short silky fur. He looked like a little wolf as a small kitten, but now, as large as many cats already, he looks like a lion. He has a fetching personality, too. He always greets us by sliding his face and then the rest of his body down our legs until he's literally upside down and then flopping over onto the floor to kiss and hug our feet (without ever using his claws.) He's just this really great tom cat, and he would have been an ideal long-term companion, but--
No one will take such a sick cat here-- only to watch him get more and more ill and then die. And we can't put him through the stress of moving across the country with us. And so we're doing this now rather than wait until later when other stresses exacerbate an already heart-wrenching situation.
Later this evening when we go to pick up Jazz to bring her home, we'll be stopping in to spend some time with Jinx before putting him to sleep-- and we'll stay with him the whole time so he won't be scared. It's going to be very hard, I'm going to totally lose it this evening. I love that little guy...
We understood that if it was bad, we'd have to euthanize him. But we couldn't do it until we were sure. Well.. the vet called and said that, yeah-- it looks like PDA (a deformation of the heart.) He said things would only get worse from here and advised we put him to sleep. And so we will-- but I have to tell you MY heart is breaking right now.
Jinx is a beautiful male cat-- with slicked back mixed long and short silky fur. He looked like a little wolf as a small kitten, but now, as large as many cats already, he looks like a lion. He has a fetching personality, too. He always greets us by sliding his face and then the rest of his body down our legs until he's literally upside down and then flopping over onto the floor to kiss and hug our feet (without ever using his claws.) He's just this really great tom cat, and he would have been an ideal long-term companion, but--
No one will take such a sick cat here-- only to watch him get more and more ill and then die. And we can't put him through the stress of moving across the country with us. And so we're doing this now rather than wait until later when other stresses exacerbate an already heart-wrenching situation.
Later this evening when we go to pick up Jazz to bring her home, we'll be stopping in to spend some time with Jinx before putting him to sleep-- and we'll stay with him the whole time so he won't be scared. It's going to be very hard, I'm going to totally lose it this evening. I love that little guy...
- Where I Was Today:Blackbird Pond
- I'm Feeling:
crushed
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Comments
This case is different. I think we fucked up. I think we should have kept him until we were actually ready to move. We could have-- and I wish we had so as to spoil him awhile longer and really say good-bye first.
Damn it.
Regarding the smoking, when I quit it took 3 or 4 weeks of emotional upset and touchiness before I started regaining my equilibrium, so I hope the stress of the move doesnt drive you both insane. Maybe not the most opportune time to quit. Of course, I had smoked for twenty years when I finally quit, so maybe it isnt so drawn out for someone else.
Good Wishes for each
Oh, Gerick smoked for over 20 years. He could find another time to quit-- but that part isn't up to me. He mainly quit because the fear of feeling sick all the time was too much to handle, and he thinks it's comparable to the stress of quitting. We'll see I guess.
I guess Gerick has to take the opportunity when he feels inspired to action. It might help him to think of this in relation to his timing though... I know that when I stopped smoking, and started to emotionally unravel, I used that as a bargaining chip for STAYING quit by telling myself, "I have put myself and Anth through too much strife from this for me to start back up again even one more time." Despite smoking for so long, I finally reached a place of not even liking the thought of a cigarette anymore. The cravings will entirely leave if given enough time completely sans tobacco.
I always say that I never started smoking because I would really find it difficult to quit. I sucked my thumb until I was 13. I'm a nervous person. And I have this oral--finger thing. Yeah... cigarrettes were totally designed for someone like me!